I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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