Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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