woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
