I CAN MOONWALK!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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