Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
