Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
