She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
