He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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