so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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