Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
