He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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