Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
