Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
