The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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