A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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