Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
last night I used snow as a chaser
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
