I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
