Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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