so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I had to cum in my sink.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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