I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
