R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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