I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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