Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
