Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
