im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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