our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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