youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
