When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
