well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize