i just google imaged poop.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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