At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
