Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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