Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dick very happy bro
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
