For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
