dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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