I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
