did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
