Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
