We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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