I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
