Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
