I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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