Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didn't notice because vodka
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
