that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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