Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
