So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
