You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
