The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
