wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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