and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
