Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
