i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
