my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
