he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
