Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize