i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
