the new term for farting is butt boxing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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