Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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