he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
