you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
