omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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