Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
