Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
