would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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