dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
