Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she told me i tasted like america
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
