i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
