Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
