Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
