If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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