Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
