Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
