Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
