He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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