I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
