Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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